Here's The Day. . .

Today is the day of my surgery. I am a little nervous, but I know it has to be done. I am thankful that I will have my fiance N (remember him? :) ) at my side all day. I also have my dad coming to pick us up from the hospital later on today. I have a feeling that despite the recovery and "stepping down" time (where they give you juice, a cookie, and ask, "Are you okaaaaaay?"), I will still be a little woozy.

All of this talk of uterine health hearkens my thoughts to my overall health. In presurgical testing, they weigh you, take your blood, your height and ask you all types of questions. A whole litany of questions... Do you smoke, do you drink, do drugs, etc? Any heart conditions, arthritis, cancer, asthma? ... to name a few.

Wow I thought. I don't even have half of these things wrong with me. Aside from a little heartburn and the ongoing saga that is my battle with weight gain, I'm okay. I guess I can at least be thankful that there aren't more health issues to contend with.

N has been a rock throughout the whole thing. He has been there to console me when I've cried (and I've cried a lot about this in these last few weeks), and to reassure me that everything will be fine.

Yet, still in those dark waking hours, when I am awake by myself, the thoughts and fears about today come back. And, I have been able to "talk myself down" from the ledge of the deep end. I've realized over the years that it's in my nature to take everything to the Nth degree, always imagining that worst-case scenario. Having someone very close to me, saying "it'll be okay" helps. Being aware of the behavior and identifying it doesn't hurt either.

It's 7:47 a.m.

4 hours and 13 minutes to go until I go under the knife. I'll be back tomorrow to report the details.

Chill Till Next Time,

J