good, but something's missing. . . .

So, i went to the New Edition concert yesterday at the Beacon Theatre here in New York City. KC and JoJo opened for them and everything, y'all!

The concert was good, but there was no Ralph Tresvant and (not surprisingly) no Bobby Brown. As a true NE fan, I have to admit I was saddened to see this. It took me a while to come back around at that concert, people!

Nevertheless, the remaining four (Ronny, Ricky, Mike and Johnny) really gave it their all. Even they were worried about performing with out all of the members, specifically Ralph. But after the crowd cheered them on, they were feeling good about performing. "Damn, y'all making us feel like Ralph and Bobby are here with us!!!" remarked one of the NE members in between sets.

N didn't understand how I felt about the frontman being absent. I mean, every girl who was about 8 or 10 years old when NE hit the scene should know how I feel. I had a little bit of NE Heartbreak for a minute! Aside from that, I paid a hefty price for the tickets and the seats were wonderful! I could make out their faces for once. To not have all of them there made me feel a little jipped!

But, their individual group and solo songs were the smelling salts I needed. I mean, how can a girl not feel better when you've got BBD singing "Tell me when will I see you smile again/'Cause I know I messed up baaayyyybay/And I know you're fed up sugahhh." Johnny came and did his thing with a few of his solo hits as well. I'd never turn down "My, My, My, My, My, My, Myyyyyy/You sure look goood tonight...."

Throw in a little impromptu mini-tribute to Gerald Levert, and you've got a pretty good show.

So, on the morning after, I feel good about having seen one of my favorite groups ever. I hope I can see them altogether again. They're coming out with an album, they said. Maybe I'll get to see them when they go on tour....

a good time was had by all....

So, a lot has happened in two weeks.

My surgery went well, I am happy to report. I have spent the last two weeks recovering. No weird side effects. My follow-up appointment is this Monday, and I expect that he will tell me that everything has healed nicely. The real test will be when my cycle comes around. The pain (or lack thereof) will tell the true tale.

Actually, I have been pushing myself a little bit more physically in these last two weeks. Both N and I have been really active the last few weekends, what with Father's Day, the Jill Scott/Musiq concert, the Cassandra Wilson Central Park Summerstage concert under the stars (awesome because I have a friend who has V.I.P. access), and our regular end-of-the-week "date nights."

This has also been the last two weeks of school, which at my current school means TONS of trips. We've gone to a picnic in the park, a trip to the Museum of Natural History (read: walking, walking, and more walking!). We went to Club Getaway, where we (both students and I) bungee jumped, did the zip line swing between trees, rock climbed and then had the nerve to have a dance party! I finally "chicken noodle souped" for my kids. They lost it!!! :) I honestly think that they think we teachers sleep in the closets at work at the end of the day and come back out in the morning only to teach them.

The graduation and prom were both yesterday as well. It was a wonderful day. There is nothing like having the graduating class at a school. So far, I have helped to orchestrate numerous graduations as a veteran teacher of seniormost students in schools. When I finally saw my kids all together in their caps and gowns, I felt that familiar June tug at my heart. It finally hit me--They're graduates. I have to let my babies go! In fact, my 6th grade is the first class to have started from Kindergarten at the charter school where I work. So, in essence, they really were the first graduating class at the school. And, fittingly enough, to end the graduation, they sang "Ain't No Stoppin' Us Now" by McFadden & Whitehead.

So now that it's all over, I sit here in my jammies and my kerchief, thinking about my own fate this summer. I will hopefully be teaching in Brooklyn next year, and I won't be making many trips to Harlem after this week save for my great braid stylist at Turning Heads Salon. As has been the case several years in a row before now, my life and my career will take a new turn when I say goodbye to my colleagues at my current school. Like my graduates, there "ain't no stoppin'" me either from this point on.

I'll keep you updated on my summer as it unfolds....

Here's The Day. . .

Today is the day of my surgery. I am a little nervous, but I know it has to be done. I am thankful that I will have my fiance N (remember him? :) ) at my side all day. I also have my dad coming to pick us up from the hospital later on today. I have a feeling that despite the recovery and "stepping down" time (where they give you juice, a cookie, and ask, "Are you okaaaaaay?"), I will still be a little woozy.

All of this talk of uterine health hearkens my thoughts to my overall health. In presurgical testing, they weigh you, take your blood, your height and ask you all types of questions. A whole litany of questions... Do you smoke, do you drink, do drugs, etc? Any heart conditions, arthritis, cancer, asthma? ... to name a few.

Wow I thought. I don't even have half of these things wrong with me. Aside from a little heartburn and the ongoing saga that is my battle with weight gain, I'm okay. I guess I can at least be thankful that there aren't more health issues to contend with.

N has been a rock throughout the whole thing. He has been there to console me when I've cried (and I've cried a lot about this in these last few weeks), and to reassure me that everything will be fine.

Yet, still in those dark waking hours, when I am awake by myself, the thoughts and fears about today come back. And, I have been able to "talk myself down" from the ledge of the deep end. I've realized over the years that it's in my nature to take everything to the Nth degree, always imagining that worst-case scenario. Having someone very close to me, saying "it'll be okay" helps. Being aware of the behavior and identifying it doesn't hurt either.

It's 7:47 a.m.

4 hours and 13 minutes to go until I go under the knife. I'll be back tomorrow to report the details.

Chill Till Next Time,

J