just feeling like everything i do is becoming a mess. my life feels like it's on a downhill slide. i am doing everything that i can, but i still feel like i'm not doing enough. what else can i do to keep from completely ruining my life further?

i am back in NYC, and that was supposed to make things better. but, it didn't really. i'm just around family and friends who can now witness my depression and downward spiral.

i can't really use PA or my relationship being too clingy as an excuse.

in a city with so many diversions and attractions and things to get into, i am STILL cooped up in an apartment doing nothing to further myself. i'm just here....existing.

how do i stop imprisoning myself? can anybody help me?