Back to the World

It's almost time for me to go back to school and teach the "chirren," as I like to call them with affection. I have so many thoughts and ideas swirling about in my head over here.

I can't wait to go back to my classroom and take a good look at what's happened since the summertime. Sad as it is to say, some colleagues of mine have sticky fingers and I could have been jacked of some of my stuff. Hopefully not.

I have so much schoolish stuff in my apartment right now. What was I thinking by bringing all of this paper and these books and things home? That I would actually do some schoolwork here at home? Funny! I have tried the same thing (doing school stuff in the house) for two years straight. And guess what? It never works! So, I might as well face that fact and haul all this crap...oops I MEAN, meaningful educational literature, back to my classrooom. Frankly, that's where it always belonged anyway.

I have a little fridge I'm taking with me, too. Just gotta clean it out. I can store my juices and water and lunch in there. Gotta keep that on the DL before folks come at me, trying to abuse my little perk.

Overall, I have to say I'm relieved that the summer is winding down. I look forward to this school year, since it will be the first I will experience without the graduate school courseload greeting me (and beating me down!) in the evenings. I'll be able to focus completely on the practical side of my teaching career. The doing of it--not the study of it--will be the only thing in the professional spotlight now.

But, I suppose it's more than that. Throughout my life this time of year, I always hearken back to returning to school, and everything that went along with it. I mean, of course like any kid, I was sad to see the summer go. But September, October and November always conjured a unique scent of new that hung in the backdrop, in the air throughout the season. Fall always represents this whole feeling of starting fresh, a feeling that you too could change just like the weather around you. . .I don't have to wait for that feeling in just the new year and spring anymore. The crisp autumn morning air and the crunch of brown fallen leaves under my feet....me walking towards the school with my little teacher cart overflowing with books and papers in tow. The faces of my new students...and the aroma (GOD, the aroma!) of the lunch "food" wafting through the first-floor hallways.

I can't wait.

blessings,

j

Warm

This weekend was another good one. Filled with spontaneous trips out of town, a party, and plenty of good times with loved ones.This was one of those weekends filled with sweet, funny and beautiful moments that will be burned in my memory forever.

I feel empowered to move on with the things I have to do. I finally feel energized and re-powered for the school year ahead of me. I can't wait to get back to school and bond with my class, talk with my colleagues and enthrall myself into my career once again.

As I mentioned, I was given a party this weekend, a housewarming. My dad and my other family did a fantastic job pulling it all together. I am reminded and amazed at how wonderful the people in my family really are. I am so lucky to be surrounded by the love they have for me. I am so lucky to have people like that to love in my life. I've never partied that hard with my family. But I can't wait to do it again. If you have family, tell them you love them. You never know when these beautiful entities in your life will leave...

I also spent a lot of time with my new male friend, N. N was wonderful to me this weekend. I really see our relationship going quite far. As I have told him, there are so many things about him and I that just fit perfectly. So perfectly, it scares me sometimes. But, as much as I thought my love search was over, I realize that now that a man like N was just what I need. I would normally gush and say so much as if you were a long-time sista-friend with ears hungry for these kinds of details. But, what I've found is so special, so precious to me right now, that I don't want to cheapen it by telling my business like that. . .Yeah, this new man is that good, y'all.

Suffice it to say that I am happy, I feel blessed and I feel centered enough for the new schoolyear, because of all of the people and things that the Creator has seen fit to send my way this past summer.

I am on to the next phase of my life now. This one is filled with another set of goals which I am ready to accomplish. And I'll be attacking them with the same tenacity as I've attacked my goals in the past. You'll hear more about them in future posts.

Blessings!

J

Decisions, Decisions...

It's me and it's the Monday after another great weekend. The time I've spent over the past three weeks has made a big difference for me. I met someone, and he is great. For the purposes of this blog, let's call him N. As with many other guys I've met, he came to me when I wasn't expecting anyone. Now, unlike any other guy I've met, the energy feels very right to me, people. It's almost frightening to think about in any depth.

I enjoyed our time together, as did he...

I am getting ready for the school year, revisiting lots of paperwork and my own philosophies about how I want my classroom to be this year. I have a list of things to get for my classroom this year. It's nowhere near as large as my lists from the past. I can see that I'll have a good year this year. There are, as always, changes to the curriculum and school policies. But somehow I feel like those changes aren't anything I can't handle. I feel more grounded than the past two years. Going into this new school year, I have high hopes and dreams for my class to come.

This fall I also plan to finish filing for my permanent certification in New York City. However, I know now that New York City is not the only place where my heart lies. It is finally time for me to move on from living in New York. I have to admit (and if you're reading this blog, you know, too) this realization is something that I came to a long time ago. I should know by now that my life thrives in change. It really is the only constant in my life.

But, I've been thinking about it, and I long for other constants in my life. The other parts of my life that lay dormant until now need attention. Instincts that I didn't realize I had inside me are awakened now, and demanding that I fulfill them. And, I might just be headed in the right direction with regard to this as well.

So, as I've mentioned before, I want my time in New York to be limited to a couple of years at the most. That's just enough time to get my own act together. . .I want to be ready professionally, emotionally and financially for the next stages of my life. . .

I just love how change can happen in your life, as uncomfortable as it can be. Only this time, the changes just reassure me that I'm heading in the right direction.

Relaxed

The weekend is over and I'm really relaxed. I went out and immersed myself in the club scene for a quick second. That was, well.....interesting. While I had fun, I realize that it's not really my scene anymore.

More later...

Script Flip

Sometimes when you put out into the universe the things that you want and need....they come. Just...do those things come when you feel you need 'em?

I have been acting on a lot of the things that I wanted to take care of this summer. That hasn't been too bad.

Did I mention that I love having all this time off? It's helping to clear my head about lots of things. The things that I need in my life are quite simple. I feel like perhaps I shouldn't overcomplicate my life with too much at once.

Most of the basics, I have. . .and another one is just now developing out of nowhere (maybe more on this later).

Summer is almost over, so that means it's time to begin some more new things that have been waiting for me to take advantage of them. I'm working like hell to drop the fears and just do.

Inspirations and admonitions are coming from everywhere, steering every move I make. Some new things that I never saw coming are developing, just when I thought I made the final decision on them. Why do things always happen this way for me. Just when I think I have reached a final decision on something, in no time, a new opportunity presents itself? Is this some kind of test? Are these the kinds of things I need to face to develop a life of integrity?
So again, the only consistency I feel in my life is inconsistency....change. How will I roll with it this time?

Well, it's time to clean the cat's litter box....

blessings,

j