It's been a while.
This school year has been crazy. I am currently looking at all of my options. I realize now (again) what I've known for a long time now. In order for me to thrive, I cannot stay in my current environment. I have expressed it on this blog before, and my feelings are no different. Only thing is, the bitter reality of this school system has jumped up and slapped me in the face, removing any doubts I had about leaving. The urgency of this situation is fast on my heels, keeping me true to my word, whether I like it or not.
I'm also plunging into foreverness with N. I love our relationship. It seems like I've known him for all my life. It helps to know he's got my back, even in the face of all of the drama this school year has brought so far. The dysfunction of my school often leaves me a quivering mess by the end of a school day. But I always know I at least have N to talk to, to complain to, to cry to...he is my refuge from it all.
I've been talking to one of my best friends, and she also has things she wants to do with her life too. So, I set up kind of a mini-support group with her. We will email each other every week, telling each other about the progress we've made towards our goals. I need desperately to keep myself accountable....to trick myself into success if need be, damn it! It feels good to be able to connect with another creative soul like her. I feel better every time I talk to her, and I believe she feels the same about me. She inspires me to do what I have to do....I want to see us live the lives we always dreamed and talked about when we were in college. . .so talking to her is a reminder of that sweeter time in my life...
So, ok. I'm off to fry some chicken and make some string beans, and mashed potatoes, before they get all stank and moldy.