I'm here...

I am back in New York. I am teaching again. I am about to begin planning my wedding which has been pushed to May 2008. I am in my new apartment which is almost furnished again.

I'm worried that I won't be able to have kids. I went to the doctor, and he found "polyps" in my uterus....I'm worried that if I can't have children, I can kiss my relationship goodbye....it is one of the main reasons we'd like to get married. I don't think not having kids with this man is an option....

Moreover, given the history with my mother (she died of ovarian cancer), I'm worried that this is the start of my journey down the same damned road.

I'm scared...I just wish someone would understand that. If I don't talk to someone about this fast....I feel like I'm going to explode!!!