7.07.2004

Still Here...

I don't know what to feel today. I just got a call from my most recent ex (from DR) and I don't know what to feel.

He basically let me know that he still loves me but that he thinks I love money more than him. He says he hopes I'm happy with my money.

Here's my question: WHAT MONEY???? If I were a rich girl (nananananananananana...LOL) I wouldn't seem like I love money more than him. Jeez! Tell a guy that you can't afford the relationship with him, and he thinks you'd rather have money.

Well, if that means that I don't want to be in the poor house or (since there hasn't been a poor house since the days of Jane Addams) homeless, then yeah, I'd rather have money, I guess.

I mean, I feel weird enough breaking up with someone mainly because of money. But the more I think about it, I realize that it is more than that. I suppose in his estimation I should be willing to part with my money more easily because I love him. I should also be willing to support him for god-knows-how-long until he finds a job if he were to come here to live. I don't think he understands that there are people HERE with all their papers (aka citizenship) who can't find jobs.
I should also have been willing to give him money not for a sound system for his car, a sony playstation for his 2 year old son, and outfits for him.

But I just wasn't willing to do those things. Instead I was willing to call racking up bills upwards of 100+ dollars every month. I was willing to visit him, sometimes at the cost of 1000 per trip.

What I got in return was a lot of promises, fake romance, hmmm's and haws about him coming to see me.

I could do a lot better without the stress.

I suppose I should feel relieved. I should feel thankful that I ended it now before any more cash outlay happened, before I got any more emotionally involved.

I guess the startling part for me is that it is possible to break up with someone over money. It's especially easy to do that when one person has it, and one does not and expects you to pay for everything.

I never thought I would be one of those people who would concentrate on the material like that. But, I guess it is possible. Not so much possible, but necessary.

So, that's what's up with that last relationship. I was trying to hang in there and be a support to him and the relationship. But, I realized I was the only one that was giving support.

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