breathing: a lost art

well, here i am, 80 days away from my wedding, in the spring of the elementary school year with my fourth grade class, holding down my 3 part-time jobs during the school day.

and oh, yeah, i'm still here. u can't imagine my excitement and stress level right now. as usual, life isn't even having the decency to slow down and happen one thing at a time for little old me. so, i'm juggling it all, like the rest of us all, taking it as it comes.

i am reminded about what my teaching mentor told me in my first year of school - don't take on so much. in the past months, it's been necessary to pick up this thing for the school, add this trip to this place for the wedding, tack on this task right after i'm done with that other thing for afterschool.

problem is, i forgot to put some of this stuff down! i'm carrying too much at once.
so, guess what? i'm off for a week, during which i plan to unload some of the billion things i'm taking on all at once.

it's funny how one can forget to breathe...that simple involuntary task is one that i've been taking for granted lately. i mean, of course i'm heaving air in and out to simply exist in the physiological sense. but, i can't remember the last time i let some fresh air and space into my mind and my life. like still water, my life has been stagnant and stink with the stench of monotony. yet, weirdly enough, everything that's been done is moving us ever closer to July 12, 2008, the day N's life and my life changes forever.

wish me luck in the next five days, as i plunk down some of my burdens and worries on the side of the road and clean mental house.